From time to time, it's not the way you say it; it's what you say. There are some things which you ought to not say to your girlfriend. Now, I am not advising that you inhibit your freedom of speech or which you walk on eggshells around your partner. Relationships should be full of communicating, loving and fun. However, there are a number of things which may be mean and cause unnecessary strain. So to avoid that, we've compiled a list of things That You Ought to never say to your girlfriend:
"You're too emotional"
You just stomped all over her feelings.
It might be several reasons why she's acting out how she is. It's possible to use tactful methods of ascertaining the reason. This shouldn't be stated in an argument/disagreement. Anything along the lines of"You are overreacting" or suggesting it's her time of the month at an argument will make matters worse. Picture your favorite football team just lost the championships and you get emotional, how do you want your girl to games you?
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"Gosh, she's beautiful/hot"
Particularly if you're rarely informed your girlfriend that she's beautiful and you state this often of different females. It's even worse for those who say this while your eyes are locked on that female. Sometimes, it might be said but it is going to impact your spouse negatively. Your spouse will feel at ill answer and question your appreciation of your own values. She may not feel so special for you. Tables turned, how do you feel?
My ex...
Should you keep bringing up things about your ex-girlfriend, it could indicate that you haven't moved on. Relationship author and speaker Jenna McCarthy states it will feel insulting if you talk about your ex-girlfriend particularly if you're comparing/praising your past girlfriend. Are you in a connection with the current woman in your life or the ghost of your ex?
Anything which refers to her body negatively
You may think that it's constructive criticism but it may come off to your partner that you truly don't like her body. This might fester within her head and be particularly toxic to the connection. She may not feel as sexy and begin to feel self-conscious in bed. Research has shown that majority of girls dislike their own bodies. You are just adding fuel to fire when you talk about her body in a not so great way. Find ways that reveal care/concern to your spouse. Should you realize she's obese, do not say"You are fat", try instead"let's change our daily diet or visit the gym together". Your words should demonstrate genuine care and not just criticize.
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She has been speaking for many minutes and anticipates your full-fledged opinion or you are with a disagreement and she pauses for your response, you uttering a monosyllable may mean to her: A. You are not listening or B. You don't care. This will worsen the situation.
"You're a *insult*"
That is a no-no. This will indicate off her even after the debate has finished. When you are having a debate, do not aim to wound. Do not prey on your partner's insecurities. 1 research categorizes insulting your spouse in an argument as a destructive strategy. Do you want to ruin this connection?
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Disrespecting her family
Any announcement that reveals imprudence for the people she loves most is something which shouldn't be mentioned. Many guys are super close to their families. Being in a relationship with her means showing respect for her family even if you don't like them.
"You are an *awkward statement*"
You're up and about with your friends and you say something that humiliates her although it appears innocuous to you. You'll probably never knew it hurt her till you've got an argument. Be mindful of signs that she's not pleased with everything you say. Be careful what you say before your buddies. It may be a private matter that she does not need you to share. Perhaps, you may even mention it beforehand for her acceptance.
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"That gown simply doesn't flatter you"
Another naive announcement that snacks. Scenario: It's date night and she spent the entire day getting prepared for this particular night. She expects compliments, not the reverse.
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"You've too much make-up on"
She left herself up . This is a territory that many guys don't understand. In case you really have an issue with her make-up, state it in a way that speaks to her being beautiful naturally.
"Are you finished now?"
You are having a dare and it might seem she's talking for moments on end. She is talking since she's something to say that's important for her. Do not cut her short. Do not come off as rude. Figure out ways to interject that promote a healthy conversation.
Saying nothing at all
She just poured her heart out to you and all you give her is dead air. While it may be that you just don't know what to say, it may come off to her which you do not care enough to discuss your thoughts.
No one is perfect and most of us say things which hurt without having to hurt the person. But if we strive to become more aware of our partner's reactions, we will know what not to say in a given situation. If your connection is good then knowing this will make it better. At the end of this all, do and say things which will show your spouse that you appreciate, care, respect and adore . Do not be reluctant to sincerely apologize and you're able to work together on communicating so that you can both understand what to say and not to convey to one another.